Getting famous is all about who you know...

More from stylist to the stars Kim Foley on how to dress to create a powerful, professional image.

1. Women need to wear solids. Simple lines. Simple colored blouses in cream, white, electric blue, well pressed under a jacket. It screams ‘I am a professional.’
2. No white stockings! Ever! Unless you’re a nurse! Wear nude – wear the color of your leg. No black unless it’s eveningwear. Black could be black funky tights, but only occasionally.
3. Men - wear the socks that match your trousers. Blend in, and make sure they go up really high. Don’t want to see your naked shins when your pants ride up while you’re sitting down, especially on TV!
4. Men wear black shoes for grey and black. Buff, brown tones need brown shoes.
5. Women, no super high heels – for play only.
6. Leggings are not for women over 25 and are not pants.
7. Women don’t have to dye their hair. If you don’t want to go grey, don’t. But if you do, then do go with it.
8. Pick colors accordingly if you choose not to dye your hair. You lose pigment from lips, eye color, hair color, etc … you may feel as if you’re washing away. That is just when you need to apply tips like these on credibility dressing.
9. Even men are wearing makeup now – even those who are not appearing on TV. Concealer under eyes, for instance, to cover dark bags.
10.  Look in your closet. We wear only 20% of our wardrobe 80% of the time.
11. Put aside tighter clothes in your ‘fat periods’. You want your clothing to drape. Men, you need to button your jackets. Women, you, too. They should all be able to be closed. No bumps and rolls around the bra line on tight sweaters — wear a silk cami in between. Or get bigger sweaters.
12. Use Spanx. The modern woman’s girdle that are like little biker shorts. They feel like leotards that come just above the knee – they take you down a whole size. Great if you gained during the holidays! (They can even be used for modern day back support if you have lower back pain, too, and tend to be swaybacked.) Don’t get a size too small!

Kim’s got an awesome e-book about this called The Credibility Factor. It’s a primer at 70 pages – everything she’d cram into a personal stying session. She helps you figure out who you are. What’s the baggage you carry with you into your closet? Kim helps you unplug that bad info and re-think your entire approach to how you dress, by going through your closet and understanding what each piece will or won’t do for you. She calls this editing the closet. How to shop without anxiety.

Dressing is easier with The Credibility Factor. Find it at www.kimfoley.com

She’s also got an online assessment that helps you clarify for yourself what you need. www.kimfoleystyle.com.

Just so you know that helping you build a stronger web presence and business is never far from my mind, I’ve been thinking A LOT about affiliate marketing and collaboration here. Really! And why, might you ask? Because it’s everywhere, that’s why.

Whenever a vendor can’t help us on this trip, from an overbooked masseuse to a full guest house, they are quick to offer help. “Perhaps you should contact my friend over at Nam Souk guest house,” they say, then they get right on the phone and start making calls for you.

At first I thought it was just typical Southeast Asian kindness (it is a land of STERLING manners and sweet, genuine smiles.) But then I realized these guys are all heavily networked. The guest houses all have referral deals with eachother, and that extends to travel agents (“Tell them I sent you”), tuk tuk drivers (“Need a ride to that museum? Let me call a friend”), and even … yes … masseuses. (“I know best masseur in Luangprabang – personal friend – I call for you!”) There is always a small extra in fee tacked on to the usual price, I noticed, when you hire the friend through them. That would be their commission. And boy … are these guys good at gracefully sniffing out opportunities.

The Western ‘fareng’ is seen understandably as the rich, cash-ready, easy spender who will help these countries out of their poverty. And everyone is standing by ready to help at ANY opportunity. Even finding a pharmacy was a potential affiliate moment. I’ve also learned these aren’t always the best referrals – quality isn’t really a consideration – so we’ve taken to just plain walking around to find the best tuk tuk and guest house deals.

Meanwhile, we’ll see if the tuk tuk comes to take us to the airport tomorrow – as booked by our friendly travel agent. If not, well we’re out $5 and we’ll walk 50 yards to find a friend of the guest house owner’s up the street.

OK, so we couldn’t go to Southeast Asia without connecting with a few elephants, right? So we did! An outfitter called Tiger Trails connected us with another, Elephant Extra Large, which helps tourists learn about and ride elephants who’ve retired from the rough logging trade.

Elephants, as it turns out, are delicate creatures – sensitive big guys who don’t care to spend their entire night hauling logs. So they like people better and will happily be trained to carry people here and there, especially if, like us, the people can be trained to ride them without a ‘mahout’ – a driver. (No, I didn’t opt for this, being a bit squeamish about heights, but my son and husband did.) The mahout even showed them how to ride their elephants into the water and bathe them at the start of the day. There was a lot of banana feeding that went on as well.

I was really impressed at how kind and loving the mahouts were to these big dudes. There is an entire Lao lexicon of words used to communicate with the elephants – ‘Stop’, ‘Go’, ‘Right’,’Left’, ‘Lay down’, etc.. And well, OK, sometimes they barked a bit – but really the mahouts spent a lot of time singing to these guys, special songs for working in Lao of course.

Also part of the adventure was a stay at Spirit Lodge which is a very beautiful classic Lao big house, teak with plaster walls and big overlooks on the beautiful Nam Tak river. This luxury lodge was set up by a German who began this company, and has totally done it right. So imagine trekking, kayaking and riding elephants all day, then coming back to your REALLY comfortable bed in the jungle and a nice restaurant serving sautéed bamboo and decent French wine. That’s my idea of a trek! I liked everything about this company, which just started with the fact that they were the original sustainable tour company in this region – others have copied and disappeared.

If ever in Laos, I recommend Tiger Trails and Elephant Extra Large quite a lot!

Fact: more than half the world’s population – 3 billion – live on less than $2 per day. Recently we were privileged to spend the night with some of them. On our trip to Southeast Asia we’ve traveled up into the northern Laos city of Luangprabang, from where we arranged a 3 day trek. Day one was spent visiting one of several Hmong villages that dot the countryside beyond the city.

There is no road there – only a motorized tractor makes the trip. All the villagers walk to get to the next village, where the handful of high school kids who are not needed at home can get an education. It’s a 3 hour walk one way, and they do it every day. Except for one poor kid we met who’d just chopped her foot with an axe while cutting wood, leaving a slash 3 inches wide and a half an inch deep – she’ll be waiting a week to walk to school. (We gave her our first aid supplies, which I fear were inadequate for the wound.) All the children are universally dirty, clothed in dirt-colored hand me downs from other countries that may or may not be complete, and are barefoot. Mom and Dad are always working, so this is a very self-reliant bunch. Furthermore, to a person, they are sweet tempered and excited to see you … they immediately melt your heart.

All of the children here work … except for the babies. I mean, the four year olds even work – they take care of the babies. I found one enterprising 4 year old with a baby tied to his back, brandishing an 8 inch dagger which he was using to make ‘a car’ out of a bamboo stump. Every child, particularly the girls, is put to work as early as humanly possible. So at day’s end, when our son produced a ‘takraw’ ball – a rattan equivalent to a small soccer ball, he immediately drew a handful of young boys to his side. They played and played, and then the girls got into the act, playing as well – and laughing with adult embarrassment at how bad they were. Until a parent appeared and then the girls scurried back to work, sweeping, cooking, cleaning, hauling water, tending gardens, etc.

We slept in a rattan hut on what must have been their very best covers – comforters decorated with teddy bears and old bean sack pillows. Tourists like us come nearly every night to stay now, and this is the ‘guest house’. Our guide, a college educated Lao named Gao, leads people here through an organization called Tiger Trails (http://www.laos-adventures.com/) , which promotes ‘Fair Trek’ eco-tourism. 40% of the fee raised by this group goes to helping the villagers make the transition from raising opium to just raising rice. Opium was outlawed by the Laos government seven years ago, ending a centuries-old form of farming. Apparently it is working as surveys indicate the production is down more than 80%. Few farmers smoked apparently, but enough that it was considered a scourge.

After an afternoon of thoroughly distracting the Lao kids, we retired to our corner hut for dinner prepared by Gao – stir fried water buffalo and the ever present ‘sticky rice.’ This rice is sooooo sticky! You can pick it up in little clumps and not lose a grain. It’s the staple food of most Southeast Asians, who seldom eat meat and eat sticky rice three times per day. Which would explain why we haven’t seen a single overweight person in this country, except for all us tourists, of course.

That night the chief, an official man in a green shirt, called a meeting of the village of 600 for after dark. Many assembled just up the way from us (think up the dirt path to another rattan house, this one with a wooden floor and decorate prayer flags.) As we did our best to sleep on the unaccustomed hard ground, our new neighbors chatted, laughed and thoroughly discussed whatever they were meeting about into the night. Apparently this is a group who can work hard, and relax with vigor. It seemed like an amazingly content group with a strong work ethic, a friendly manner despite all the tourists who traipse through their world, and genuine love for each other.

We won’t forget our night spent in their village anytime soon. In some ways this was the most important part of our trip, as we wanted our son to see how so much of the rest of the world lives – and he is. He left saying ‘I want to live in a village like this someday.” He too recognized it as ultimately a loving, content place, even with apparent hardship.

Here’s how to craft a look that’s totally professional according to Kim Foley, who’s dressed Presidents (George Bush, Bill Clinton), media and movie stars galore. This is also true for the world of haute couture and high fashion as well.

Kim’s comments below are especially targeted towards people over 40 who are noticing they could use a little ‘illusion dressing’.

1. You must have a jacket — you can always take it off or put it on. Women can put it with pants or skirt. It needs to be classic.
2. You don’t want your clothes get noticed …. So you are the star, not the clothes
3. Nothing trendy … because it draws more attention to the clothing than to you
4. Buy high end business suits for 4.95 at thrift shops. She dressed 36 people with $4000 for an evening dinner party scene using a Goodwill well within budget. You don’t have to have the highest quality!
5. It’s about the fit, line, drape – and not looking outdated. The 15 year old suit that doesn’t really fit you anymore is a problem.
6. Invest in tailoring not in the clothing itself. Buy a second hand suit but spend the $30 on taking it in or letting it out.
7. If you want to be more approachable – use mid-tone colors.
8. Black is for intimidation
9. Avoid leather at all costs. It always sends the wrong message in the public eye, especially on those who are delivering information. It’s perceived as sexual and inappropriate.
10. It’s not about ‘being yourself’ all the time – it’s that you have to take that and tweak it to receive a positive response.

The question often comes up around here just what the well-dressed blog should wear. Here’s my short list, to apply in any configuration that suits your fancy. This is what you need on your blog to serve media and the public alike.

Must Have
Media Room with bi, article ideas, list of media mentions, headshot
Brand + USP in header
Head shot on home page
RSS feed info
Feedburner collection box
Email newsletter sign up with bonus
Blogroll or several different such lists

Optional
List of comments
Podcast
Product shots linked to sales pages
Video feed of speaking/media

We’re traveling through Thailand with our 13 year old son, Luke, who is having one of the big adventures of his life to date. (This is his second overseas trip, the first being a year ago to Iceland.)

Q: What do you think is most interesting about Thailand

A: Takraw and the bazaars

Q: What’s Takraw?

A: It’s a game like volleyball only it’s played with the feet and head, so they do bicycle kick flips to get the ball over the net. The ball is made of rattan and it’s woven (You can see what it’s like on YouTube.)

Q: How do you like Thai food?

A: It’s not that good. I like lemon sodas, though. It’s lemon juice and sparkling water that comes with sweet syrup that you add, and you can add as much as you like to make it taste good.

Q: What have you liked the least that you did here?
A: Get sick from my malaria pill, which I now don’t have to take

Q: What’s the best thing you’ve done?

A: Get a Thai massage. It was very relaxing.

That’s all for now!

I recently heard about some hate mail directed towards plus-size lifestyle and fitness coach Kelly Bliss. A question came up around how to handle this – and as someone who’s gotten my own share of hate mail, I thought I’d share my response.
Hate mail is to be expected when you’re breaking new ground. My antidote to venomous emails is to …

a) Remember that we ALL get hate mail like this — I get it on the Joy stuff believe it or not. I realize size acceptance folks may take more but it’s just part of being ‘out’ with your message. No risks … no rewards.

b) Remember you’re doing the work you do because you’re guided to do so and are not spiritually alone in the process. That helps. Even dealing with hate mail is a growth experience.

c) Marquez said a writer’s job is ‘to infect the public’ — to get them to think. You’ve clearly done this here and I find that very empowering … even if the actual content of the message isn’t what you want to read. Reactivating people often means you triggered their own issues that have nothing to do with you.

I say it’s actually a sign that you’re actually right on target. The only exception is a complaint that’s technical or quality-based on a product or service, especially if it is repeated. Then you might actually want to reassess the piece of work that’s offending others.

Dotsie Bregel has created a dynamic and fresh site for boomer women called National Association of Baby Boomer Women. Topics are general, interest is high, and they even run fun contests. Check out their recent contest on Most Valuable Life Lesson. Good example of a contest that hits close to the heart – for what boomer woman doesn’t have a hard won life lesson to share?

When you put aside the tourist traps and decide you’re just going to get off the beaten track as much as you dare, one of the great things that happen is that you meet … other crazy souls like you.

Here’s who we’ve met so far:

* Robert and his wife, young college students from Western Canada who were here for six months traveling. Robert insisted on helping our son decipher his Algebra homework so he could get it done in a snap. (No, that’s not something we could do, J) Robert and his wife had been having a fine old time, save for a nasty motorcycle accident in the Philippines. His wife received stitches with no pain killer after three days of trying to find a hospital. No, this kind of travel is not for the tender hearted!

* A young French man we met on the overnight train to Chiang Rai, who had spent the last seven months on his third trip to Thailand. He insisted on sharing with us all of his information on Ko Tao, a small snorkeling paradise we will go to later this month. He even gave us his tattered tourist map of the place, pulled from a small bag he’d been living out of … for seven months! May I also note this man was HAPPY.

Today we will take another bus to the Laos border, then a two day boat ride to Luang Prabang which is known as ‘the slow boat’. It stops along the way in a village where we spend the night – probably cost for the entire trip, about $20. Should meet some more characters along the way! (Will they ALL be significantly younger than me and hubby?)